La française, c'est toi

[annnamarie]

Of course there were ups and downs to any situation, but after a hellish period, combined with the recognition of being totally and utterly alone, and this time not on her own accord, Marie had accepted Sabine's invitation all too eagerly.

Yes, sometimes she was still a bit unsure about the woman, she seemed to be smarter and more exciting and just more sure about everything (and she had someone to love, even though that came with a strange, Grown Up situation), but Marie had never felt that she was Sabine's charity cause. And hey, she spoke French, the both of them could use "lessons" as excuse to get together until either one of them was over it.

Because Marie really needed something to get through her day, to make her head shut up. Not just the regular subjects bullying her, but the strange there and not there of Danny and a life with Danny ..going crazy was as low on the list as 'being transported to a space station' had been. She brought her tablet, found some station issued notebook and pen (wow!) and left for Sabine's place, not even bothering with dressing up in her own clothes.

"Bonjour!" Before knocking, she put a smile in place, trying to think herself into a better mood. No matter what would happen next, at the very least she had left her room.

Comments

[rememory]

"Bonjour, mon amie," Sabine offered cheerfully as she welcomed her in to the quarters she shared with Scott and a typically aloof pure black Siamese cat.

Scott had gone out--whether to the quarters he generally only used for bathing or somewhere else, she didn't know. But he'd been in a reasonable mood when he left, so she wasn't concerned, and he'd promised to bring back something to cook for dinner.

"Come in. Make yourself comfortable," she continued in French and gestured to the small, unimpressive, but tidy space that Sabine had begun adding the odd personal touch to.

[annnamarie]

Oh, yikes, Sabine was starting off right away. Yes, of course, why not, and Marie had to stop doubting everything. She has been taking French for two years now, she could do this.

"Hello, kitten. The cat, not you." Because she really missed having pets around, and not because she felt comfortable enough yet to give Sabine nicknames. "I'm very curious about how long I'm going to manage this", she continued in French. "I've always liked reading and writing better than the verbal challenges. How have you been?"

"And how long will the first class last?", she added with a smile of relief.

[rememory]

"Let's say forty-five minutes," Sabine answered in English.

She swept her gaze over Marie and took in the almost defiant normalcy of her "student" posture. It hardly took an empath to know Marie felt a bit the emotional ping-pong ball. Which was why she asked after her beverage preference in English, not French. "Coffee, tea, something cold? I can try to get hot chocolate out of the replicator, but I'm not sure I trust it."

Privately, Sabine hoped she chose something on the warm side. Holding a steaming cup of something would definitely soothe the nerves--assuming she could feel it through her gloves.

[annnamarie]

"Coffee." There was this strange - well, almost familiar by now, but still strange - spark that reminded her that coffee wasn't great for her now. Which was bullshit, but still made Marie feel bad long enough to almost change her mind. Good thing she was stubborn enough not to. Not on a hunch.

"Coffee, s'il vous plait. Hot chocolate is usually too sweet for me, but good for you for trying. I haven't been very creative with that replicator thing just yet."

[rememory]

"I'm a cook. Especially when I'm bored or stressed. Experimenting with the replicator and the protein mush was about the first thing I did." She quickly programmed the replicator to produce coffee and asked, "How do you take yours?" while it tried to sort out her instructions for her Mexican mocha--not exactly on theme, but she rarely was on any theme but her own.

[annnamarie]

"Black. I had this stupid bet with myself that I wouldn't ease myself into coffee drinking with milk and slash or sugar, and now I'm the obnoxious person that can't handle it any other way than plain and angry."

Like me, was a thought that shouldn't be tacked onto that sentence. "I'm not a cook, but I don't have enough credits to pay you for that as well. I wish there was demand for twenty-somethings loafing around being useless."

[rememory]

"It's all right. I think I can spot you some coffee." Sabine brought the coffee to the table with her Mexican mocha. She nudged the coffee in front of Marie and sat down.

"There's got to be something you can do. Should we use it as a subject in French?"

[annnamarie]

"Sure." Yes, because they were here for class, not for chatter. Marie wasn't even sure if Sabine was the woman for chatting, babbling, giggling over silliness. She wasn't sure if she was the woman for such things either, but she would like to try it again some time before the senior home.

"I never work in retail or the food service", she starts in French, hearing the mistake as soon as she utters it. "Worked."

[rememory]

"Did you have time to work? Ever?" From what Scott had told her of the other Rogue's life, it didn't seem likely. And then she'd gone off to college.

"I've never had a regular job. The ghost business kept me busy, before Scotland. And then my artistic career took off." There was, also, her substantial trust fund, the royalties from her father's music, and the returns on her various investments. She hoped that Em knew to use them for Shola...nothing to be done about it here.

[annnamarie]

"No time and no need." Because Sam had taken care of her. Because Johnny and Danny and Jean had looked out for her. Wasn't this supposed to be a welcome distraction?

"Artistic career?" Because why would they only have to talk about Marie, and hey, as long as it was in French there were brownie points to be had anyway. "Can I ask you something about 'ghost business'?"

[rememory]

"Ah. Moi aussi," Sabine said, regarding the need anyhow. "My father was world-famous as a jazz pianist, before he died. I inherited creativity from him, I guess. Black and white photography, semi-abstract expressionist painting." She shrugged and sipped at her mocha. Not bad, but definitely not good. She made a small moue of displeasure, but took another sip anyway.

"You can ask anything you like. If the answer's too painful, I'll tell you so. But there really aren't any taboo topics with me."

[annnamarie]

It took her a few seconds to come up with the translation for possession, because how often did you discuss that in daily conversation.

She wrapped her hands around her coffee, but telling herself to keep her eyes on Sabine's face. There was no shame in her question, and Sabine had pretty much okayed it. "Would y- would you know it if you'd be possessed? Or like.. when there's a try? Attempt?"

[rememory]

"I can't be possessed, not by a spirit, anyhow. My powers give me protection from it," she answered, smoothly correcting the minor hitches in Marie's phrasing without calling attention to them. "And yes, I know instantly if a spirit tries to possess me. With someone else it's a bit more complicated."

Sabine had to pause for a moment there to think how to explain. The French wasn't a stumbling block so much as that people rarely asked and those who did, like Nathan, had a much more technical knowledge of how psi minds worked. And too, there was the surge of loss and grief that went with recalling how Remy had been desouled and she'd had to figure out how to re-possess him of his own soul.

"I always know about ghost possessions, when I'm close enough to sense the spirit. Even in a human body, they have a distinctive resonance with my mind. Demonic possessions or other disconnects between a person and their soul I can usually spot if I know to look for them. It's not quite the same, how it works. More like... an obstetrician picking up signs of heart disease. Training allows it, but they need something to tip them off."

[annnamarie]

"Oh, God, demons? I forgot about demons." Marie hadn't known what kind of answer to expect, but demons just threw her out of the French mindset, no matter how suave it sounded in another language. Demons. That was some Buffy bullshit. She so didn't want to meet Buffy here.

"Right." But you'd protect me, wouldn't you? It's a plea for help shaped like a thought, and again she's glad that Sabine can't read minds. Marie has been safe for more than five years now, no-one is going to single her out here for bad intentions. Or even cruel ones.

"D'accord."

[rememory]

"Why do you ask? Sabine inquired gently, setting her mocha down on the table. "If you're concerned, you needn't be. I've met you often enough now that even a particularly subtle spirit would not be able to gain a firm foothold before I noticed, and possession is by far the least common of spirit activities."

When she had said all that, in French, to complete the thoughts more simply than swapping to another, Sabine pushed her hands and her mug out in front of her, almost as though reaching for Marie's hand, but not quite. She tipped her head, studying her, and then let out a quiet breath. "Why don't we hold off on the French and just talk for a little while. Something's bothering you, and I can't tell whether it's the ghosts, or something else."

[annnamarie]

"I'm fine with your ghosts." That sounded a bit too much like 'I don't mind gays as long as they don't do gay stuff around me', so she tried again. "I'm open to every not hostile ghost."

Marie wasn't a hand holding person, especially with gloves involved, but she understood the implied invitation. It was her time to play the fountain of information. If she knew where to start.

"What are the more common spirit activities?" She just needed a moment.

[rememory]

"They appreciate that," Sabine replied evenly, weighing whether or not to elaborate. She decided it might help Marie feel more at ease if she was open about her thoughts, and so she added, "They make a lot of people uncomfortable, which is understandable. It's not quite the same as someone being blue and furry or having wings or being gay, is it? Everyone will die someday, so they're uncomfortable--" memento mori "--reminders of what we fear, and of what we've lost, even if they're still people in a way. So if you ever do feel awkward about them being around, they don't mind if I send them out."

Which didn't lead naturally to Marie's actual question, but she suspected it had been more a gap-filler than curiosity. Still, she answered, "Most spirits are harmless. If they make themselves known at all, it's as a slight apparition, or a cold spot. Some retain enough emotional energy to misbehave in various ways--hauntings, moving things around, pranks. A few get stuck reliving the moments of their death until someone like me sets them free. Most of them just need a little help moving on. Actual malice toward the living is rare."

[annnamarie]

"Okay. Right. And you'd - you can recognize ghost activity? Always, everywhere? Even with a head ache or bad mood or .." Because if she could, she would recognized something about Marie by now, right? If it was ghosts, and not just her head. Fun thing about being adopted, you never had a clue what kind of hereditary diseases to expect. How strong did a deja vu had to be before it turned into a hallucination?

"Ever felt like you're living two different lives at the same time? Like, almost completely different?"

[rememory]

"I can sense ghosts within about a mile, without actively seeking them. Under threat, I've called them to me from as far as five miles. Being able to sense them doesn't mean I know anything about them, but once I have a line of sight on where they are, they can't hide from me," she reassured Marie, even though Sabine felt certain the question wasn't really about her ghosts.

"In a way, I am always living two different lives. I'm a bridge between worlds, one foot in each. There's a life I share with the spirits no one else can sense, and another in this world." When she'd been engaged to Shinobi, that had been a different life from the one she lived outside his presence, too. "But I think you mean something else."

[annnamarie]

"Pretty sure I meant something else, yes." Marie had never been great at owning up to things, and even though Sabine was no doubt very understanding, it was still going to be ..too weird. Wrong weird. Anna Marie didn't hear fairies, she thought that half of her life was somewhere else. That was a boring weird.

She shifted in her seat. "Can possibilities be ghosts? I - I have this severe deja vu, deja viens feeling all the time. I know parallel worlds are a thing, but we usually don't experience them at the same time, right? Although I don't know if that's part of your expertise.."

[rememory]

Sabine gave the question due consideration, since it wasn't, as Marie had noted, within her wheelhouse precisely. At length, she decided, "I think some of our friends at home, Nate and Clarice... um, I think Nate's codename is Shaman, and Clarice is Blink, if you know them... oh, and Illyana... they all came from different words." Nathan and Tetherblood, too, and oh god how hard to think of all of them this way. "I think sometimes they feel as if there's another life they're supposed to be living, and they definitely remember those other lives as part of who they are."

She frowned and sipped idly at her drink, mostly for something to do with herself while she thought. Eventually, she added, "In some ways, I suppose possibilities, or echoes of other worlds are exactly what ghosts are. They're the emotional imprint of a life, only those most essential parts of their personalities, the things they can't let go of. So..." She chewed at her lip thoughtfully. "I guess it makes sense that this other life you're experiencing could be something like that. If, you were reincarnated, or... well, if you had your memories tampered with... I know Scott had some problems with that when we got him back."

[annnamarie]

Both 'reincarnated' and 'memories tampered with' weren't things Marie would eagerly accept as solutions to her sort-of-problem.

"Back from what? From whom?" She was sure that she didn't have another life, wasn't reincarnated, almost completely sure her memories weren't tampered with, but what else could it be? And why would she know if any of those things had happened to her? She sat back.

"It's not like it happens very often. I was just curious if you'd maybe had a clue. It's not life threatening. I think."

[rememory]

"From--" How to explain Stryfe and Miranda? Sabine sighed and decided ultimately, she couldn't. "Enemy telepaths."

But as she'd told Marie before, that was Scott's story to tell when and if he wanted to. Her own story would have to suffice. "When Magneto and Exodus had me, Exodus tried to muddle my sense of time and space so I wouldn't know what was real and what was in my, or his, head. I still have weird flashes sometimes." Her mouth twisted in a pained frown. "Like when I got here and Scott found me. I thought... I thought my mind was making it up, because something worse was happening that I didn't want to know about."

She tried to shrug that off, found it more difficult than she'd expected, but soldiered on. "The mind is thousands of times more complex and powerful than we generally recognize. With your abilities, assuming they're the same as the version of you from home, what you're experiencing could be someone else's memories. And since we don't know anything about how we got here, who knows what universes we crossed streams with? Unless it's incapacitating, I doubt there's anything to worry about. "

[annnamarie]

Because telepath didn't necessary mean good guy, of course. Marie knew the power that came with it, knew what happened when that moved into the destructive direction.

"Right." She exhaled, feeling just a little bit better, knowing there was understanding and similar experiences. Similar hurt. "I did the - the someone else's memories thing before, but it was much more superficial. There was a clear space between her and me. Not this. Okay. I'll put in on the back burner for now."

"Are you impressed with how I managed to get out of French class?", Marie added with a wink.

[rememory]

"Mais oui," Sabine said with a laugh, but just as quickly returned, "Are you sure that's all you wanted to talk about, Marie? It's not as though the French can't wait a bit longer, and companionship would probably do us both a world of good." To be fair, Sabine had Scott and Will and Molly and Jack among others, but Marie seemed lonely and when there were no dead to tend to, Sabine turned her empathy on the living.

[annnamarie]

Companionship. Was Sabine secretly a great-aunt? Not that Marie ever had those, but it seemed like a word they'd use. She was avoiding answering the question.

"Mwah", was what she managed with a shrug. Because everything else was just so sad. Marie had managed to get used to the loneliness of campus, to not having more than fleeting, superficial contacts while Sam and Billy were on the other side of the country and Jean just super busy. She wasn't bad at it, so maybe this was just a bit of a culture shock. More loneliness, now in new surroundings.

[rememory]

"Mwah?" Sabine asked, head tilting again, this time in clear amusement. "Are you blowing kisses at me? Not that I wouldn't be flattered, but my love life is complicated enough without adding someone else." Especially a someone else who couldn't touch her anymore than Byron had ever really been able to. Although she supposed as long as it wasn't skin to skin...why was she even thinking about this?

Sabine laughed warmly. "Anyway, any time you want to come over or hang out, just buzz me."

[annnamarie]

The reply surprised her enough to make her blush, which was silly and unnecessary.

"Yes, yes, thank you." Marie got up, unclear if they had done anything worthwhile but still feeling better over it. "I'll buzz you in a French way to make myself feel that I'm at the very least doing something that requires use of brain. Merci, Sabine. For just ..you know."

[rememory]

"De rien, Marie," Sabine pronounced and then stood to be sure Missy didn't jet out into the hall as she left. "It's nice to be able to help." Since she could do so little for Scott, being here for someone else at least kept her from feeling entirely useless.